From The Confessional: We Sleep In Separate Bedrooms And IDGAF
by Cassandra Stone July 25, 2021SHARE
These moms are confessing about how exactly they get a sound night of sleep: separate bedrooms.
We’ve all been there: your partner is snoring, or hogging the sheets, or taking up too much space. You want to GTFO of there, but it’s your bed and you feel guilty about leaving (or just stubborn). Well, these moms want you to know they are unapologetic AF about doing the separate bedroom thing. Because whatever works, works! No apologies are necessary.
But for other moms, it’s heartbreaking to have to live in a separate room from their partners because it’s not what they want at all.
Confessional #25834690“He still calls me his gf. I don’t refer to him as my bf. He’s the guy I live with. In order to be in a relationship imho. You need to actually *have* a relationship. We spend our time in separate rooms and I’ve slept on the couch for 2+ years.”
Confessional #25831486“So DH told me he’s leaving me and doesn’t want to be with me at all. We still live in the same home but sleep in separate rooms. But occasionally we just randomly fuck or kiss or he pinched my tits and this is hot as hell!”
Confessional #25816079“Once the kids go to bed me & DH watch an hour of tv, never chat and go to bed in separate rooms. Not sure how i can live like this forever”
Confessional #25812941“Me and DH have zero intimate contact yet plod on reasonably happily doing family things and watching box sets etc. Then we go to separate rooms. Wondering how long it can realistically continue though. We never address the issues at all.”
This is why they invented king-sized beds, y’all. My own husband is 6’5″ and built like a linebacker, so sleeping in a queen-sized bed felt like we were sharing a matchbox. During my first pregnancy, I slept in a separate bedroom for a few months because I was so sweaty at night (I run 30 degrees hotter than my husband in general, I swear) and I just wanted space. During my second pregnancy, we shelled out the cash for a king-sized bed and never looked back. IT IS HEAVEN.
But that’s not for everyone, I know. Sometimes the separate bedroom thing is for much more heartbreaking reasons.
Confessional #25803519“My DH is a good man but I’m not in love with him. We sleep in separate rooms which is awkward every night but I feel relief when I shut the door behind me.”
Confessional #25797437“Friend “doesn’t understand” why DH and I sleep in separate rooms. Because I have a severe sleep disorder! Also, I still fuck DH, and she hasn’t touched her H’s dick in a year.”
Confessional #25796897“It’s my wedding anniversary. We wrote cards but haven’t kissed and now in bed in our separate rooms. This is not how I imagined my life.”
Confessional #25764224“Been sleeping in separate rooms because of H’s snoring. Liking it way more than I ever thought I would & I can’t say that out loud.”
If you’re in a cis-het relationship, raise your hand if you’ve ever fantasized about having your own room again. Not because you, like, hate your spouse necessarily. But because dirty clothes won’t be all over the floor, nothing will smell like boy, and you can fill it with all your favorite girly things like you did way back when. I love my husband, but I don’t always love living with a man!
Confessional #25763538“DH and I started sleeping in separate rooms because his snoring disturbed me for 25 years and it was time for me to get some solid rest. Now, when he wants to just come lay next to me, I feel like he’s invading my space.”
Confessional #25751721“DH and I are going to visit in-laws for first time in about a decade. At home we sleep in separate rooms due his snoring and different schedules. It’s gonna be a very long week if I don’t get any sleep if we have to share a bed.”
Confessional #24872190“Not long after h and I were married I started sleeping in the spare room because I need complete darkness to sleep and the light from his clock was making it hard to sleep. Still think separate rooms are why we are still together 26 yrs later, w/ kids”
Confessional #24866563“DH had been sick, so I’d been sleeping in the guestroom. I’m back in our room and missing the guestroom. His snoring is THE WORST. Is it bad that I want separate rooms for sleeping purposes only?”
Sounds like a lot of these men might want to look into a sleep apnea study. Just saying.
Confessional #17206138“Sleeping in separate rooms has saved our marriage. His snoring doesn’t wake me up all night and my punching/kicking/pushing him to stop doesn’t wake him up. Well rested leads to happier couple!”
Confessional #16209397“Due to my severe sleep disorder, DH and I sleep in separate rooms. No, there is nothing wrong with our marriage, and yes, we do have sex!”
Confessional #5167922“H thinks we sleep in separate rooms because I co-sleep with DS 6mo. In reality we sleep in separate rooms because I hate his stinking guts.”
Confessional #2783867“31 yo and DH and I sleep in separate rooms bc I can’t deal w his snoring. I swear if he lost 50lbs he would stop. I really only care bc “his” bed is more comfortable- and where will I sleep if we have a second baby?”
Confessional #1764496“Hubs and I started sleeping in separate rooms so we could take turns with the baby. I wish I could always have my own bed. I love him but I love having a title space of my own too”
Bottom line: do what works for you. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your own space! If separate rooms isn’t working, then you have to ask yourselves what will make it work.